(As the first ever Suicide Championship Wrestling event has come and passed by, we are forwarded now to the second event thus far in the SCW’s short history. This second show - being the first edition of Monday Night Resurrection - will feature the beginning stages of the “Clash For Gold Tournament” that will eventually lead into a World Heavyweight Championship match at the first ever Pay-Per-View. All the SCW’s biggest signed names will be taking part in this tournament, but with such a big tournament and so many participants while still in the beginning stages of this competition, it’s quite unclear at the moment about who will be walking out with the World Heavyweight Championship.)
(As the SCW camera’s begin rolling, the huge steel structure known as the titan-tron lights up to life and displays all of the footage being captured by the multiple camera’s spread around throughout the entire arena. A huge proportion of promo’s have already been aired for this upcoming Resurrection event, but little do we all know when referring to promo-airing, we’re just getting started. It’s a beautiful Friday evening, and you can bet an even bigger influx of promo’s will air on-screen including the SCW’s biggest stars whom will be taking part in this Monday’s event. Recently, the SCW has been granted by the presence of the SCW owners themselves, David Grave and James Waltman, to show their faces and create a promo of their own.)
(However, at this exact point in time, we’ve been granted a promo of a man who has yet to show his face in front of an SCW camera, and he is none other than Sean Hunter, “The Perfectionist”. At the very first house show event Sean was scheduled in a match against JC Ice, but due to unknown circumstances JC Ice did not show up, thus allowing Sean to garner a controversial win. Now, at the very first Resurrection Sean is scheduled to go up against a man known as B-Snipes in the opening bout of the night, and the winner will move on in the “Clash For The Gold Tournament”. Appearing backstage standing in front of a set up of some sort designed specifically for promo cutting, Sean is clad in his usual street attire of a white t-shirt and black training pants. With a rather serious looking expression on his face, Sean speaks for the first time since signing a contract with the SCW.)
Sean Hunter: Hello bitches and gentleman, and welcome to the ‘Sean Hunter Show’. Eh, okay, so I don’t have my own show, but I should because anything involving yours truly equals guaranteed ratings. Now, let me start off by saying that I’m sorry to all of my fans out there that I’ve yet to produce a promo thus far in my short tenure here in the SCW, but I’ve been a busy man with things to do. Let me also apologize for not allowing every fucking person in the entire world to grace the wrestling supremacy of yours truly at the House Show a few days ago. Unfortunately, the punk I was set up to face felt like being a bum and not showing up to do his job. Now, I don’t know the exact story on why exactly JC Ice decided not to show his face, but my assumption is that he was scared to step into the ring with a man of my stature, and I don’t blame him. If I was him I would’ve pissed my pants the second I saw my name next to the name of ‘Sean Hunter’, and we were scheduled to fight.
Not only would I embarrass myself by letting my bodily fluids uncontrollably flow out of my body and run down my leg while leaving a huge yellowish stain on my clothing, but I’d also pack my bags and leave the fucking country to a place where I would be safe. I’d also change my name, and get a new retarded alias like the one I’d be going with before, ‘JC Ice’, so nobody would know it was I who ran away because I was too scared to go up against Sean Hunter. But again, this was only if I was JC Ice himself, and thank God that I am not. Instead, I am the one and only Sean Hunter, and I am the fucking future World Heavyweight Champion of this shit hole we like to call Suicide Championship Wrestling. Now, before the powers that be get their panties all in a bunch due to the fact that I refer to this place as a shit hole, first let me explain my reasoning for using that choice of wording. So, to answer your question, why exactly is this place a shit hole? That’s easy, because this place contains nothing bunch a bunch of whining and crying BITCHES that run around doing nothing but moaning and complaining until they get their way. Not only that, but every little fucker in this joint thinks he’s the greatest damn thing since sliced bread. New flash fuckers! Sean Hunter is the greatest fucking thing you will EVER see grace a wrestling ring.
I’m the hottest thing to hit the streets since fire itself, and none of you little fucks that run around acting like little girls will be able to contain my wild-like flame. Quite honestly, I’d love to punch every little bastard that shows his face on screen bitching and complaining about not getting his or her own way, and who continually keeps proclaiming that they’re the fucking best. You guy’s can be second best, third best, fourth best, eighteenth best, and so on and so forth, but the absolutely fucking BEST belongs to Sean Hunter bitches, so get your facts straight. And yes, you may realize that I am a hot-headed, and I like to overuse derogatory terms, but my simple advice to you is to not worry about what the fuck I’m saying, and worry about yourself. I’ll say whatever the hell I’d like whether you want me to or not. What, did you expect me to come in here and act like ‘Mr. Nice Guy’? Where you expecting my angelic looks to represent and angelic attitude? Well too fucking bad, because whether you like it or not I’ve got the face of an angel, and the mouth of a devil, and I plan on using my devil-like mouth in the most productive manner that I can.
Quite honestly, I don’t even give a fuck if I offend every God damn person listening to this promo, because it is absolutely none of my damn concern. You have a problem with what I say? Take it up with me, face to face, man to man. Don’t talk shit behind my back, and don’t start running your mouth while you’re hiding behind the back of someone else. Take it up with me the right way, and tell me exactly what you feel. I still may not give a shit, but at least you had the guts to take it up with me man to man. And, well, if you’re a woman, then that’s definitely not going to concern me any because as a man I know the stating of one word such as ‘fuck’ upsets you woman in the most extreme of ways, so for a female to get all worked up about my language is going to be expected. And you know, instead of my alias being “The Perfectionist”, it may as well be changed to “The Subliminal One” because whatever I have on my mind I will say it no matter who is watching or listening, and no matter who it is about or who it offends. If it makes any of you feel any better, I’ll go out and buy a huge ‘Parental Advisory’ sticker and place it on my entire chest area just so you will know what to expect from me.
Now let’s move on, shall we? At this Monday’s Resurrection event I am set up to place another punk who this time goes by the name of B-Snipes. First it’s JC Ice, and now B-Snipes? What the hell is up with these fucking idiots? Is anyone capable of using a normal name anyone instead of a stupid ass nickname that makes no sense whatsoever? Well, B-Snipes, I hope you show up at Resurrection and are actually man enough to get into the same damn ring as the greatest wrestler alive today. I hope you don’t shit your pants and wimp out of wrestling against me like little ol’ JC Ice did at the House Show a few days ago. B-Snipes, if you follow the route of JC Ice, then I promise to personally hunt both of you little fucks down, locate your hiding spot where you’ll both be residing naked in and committing acts of pure gayness, and I’ll kill you fucking both with my bare hands. And that’s not a warning, that’s a fucking threat. So B-Snipes, just do the smart thing and show up and get your ass kicked by the future of this God damn company like you’re destined to do. At least give my fans out there a little something to watch and keep them entertained. They all unfortunately couldn’t see Sean Hunter wrestle at the House Show even though it’s what every single fan bought a ticket for and paid to see, so let’s not disappoint more fans by doing it at Monday’s Resurrection, okay? B-Snipes, I really do hope your bitch ass shows up Monday, because if not it looks like Sean Hunter will be getting charged with murder.
(In a rage, Sean remains standing in the exact same position he’s been standing while cutting this entire promo. He glares at the camera for a few more seconds until turning to his right and storming off. With no one in view and only the promo set up being seen, the camera is soon cut off, and as it is the titan-tron fades out to black, and the fans in the arena were lucky enough to witness yet another promo by one of the favorite - or in Sean’s case, one of their most-hated - SCW superstars.)