Being the summer now, I was taking a look at the ground rules as posted on the Barnet website (which are, incidentally, just a rehash of the FL ones).

Open up the link and given pride of place is the rule on standing. The club ae actually really strict on this one, and even print it in the match programme each week, although I think this is just a sop to the FLA really as generally the club are pretty liberal, and after all there are three terraces to choose from so no-one stands in seated areas anyway. How often are you told to sit in your seat because the rules say so. Rules are rules! Or are they?

I'm very obidient and do not break this ground rule at Underhill, as I stand in a standing area. However, by my reckoning I break no fewer than FOUR other ground rules every game.

"6. The following articles must not be brought within the Ground.... poles'

That one goes straight away as our flags have sticks on them.

"No person (other than a person who holds an appropriate licence) may bring into the Ground or use within the Ground any equipment, which is capable of recording or transmitting (by digital or other means) any audio, visual or audio-visual material or any information or data in relation to the Match or the Ground."

My camera has a camera on it, which is indeed capable of recording visual material. So two offences already and I've just got through the turnstiles.

"10 Nobody entering the Ground shall be permitted to climb any structures within the Ground."

To put the flags up we climb over the barrier at the back of the terrace and perch on the back fence. Tut tut.

"7.2.1 The throwing of any object within the Ground without lawful authority or excuse."

We usually throw confetti when the teams come out, and haven't expressedly asked permission to do so. Actually this one (as well a chucking the ball back when it comes off the pitch) is not only a ground regulation but a criminal offence no less!

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Aren't we naughty! Thankfully a bit of common sense applies to all of this yet when it comes to a few people standing up, rules are rules. Wierd eh?

Indeed and of course mobile phones should not be allowed into Wembley according to their list of prohibited items.

And as for standing in seated areas. We are told that it is OK to break this at 'moments of excitement', although neither that or 'peristent' standing is defined and interpretation varies widely.

Racist & offensive chanting is also an offence, but how often is anything done to stop say 5,000 West Ham fans singing songs about Jews (or indeed Spurs fans singing about 'yids') or the usual suggestions as to solo sexual practices that a referee may indulge in?

A lot of grounds have a seperate rule which states you cannot bring in any device which is capable of transmitting footage of the game.

Many mobile phones these days can make video calls so they would be in breach of this rule also. So by simply bringing a phone in you could be breaking 2 seperate rules.

To be fair, a lot of places put a little notice saying "mobile phones are permitted, but for phone use only" under that one. Still absurd to be honest.