I DID IT MY WAY

Dr Thaksin's Krazy Guide To Fair Play*: How To Sneak Your Team Into Euro Vase (with a little help from Human Rights Watch)

1) Become prime minister of Thailand.

2) Declare war on the horrifying drug trade by issuing the following horrifying statement: "There is nothing under the sun which the Thai police cannot do."

3) Sigh in contentment as 87 people are killed in the first week of the war on drugs. Practise Frank Sinatra impression.

4) Open the papers to discover that the latest victim of the war on drugs is a nine-year-old shot when police fired at a car carrying him and his mother (police claim a third party shot at the victim's car). Do not reflect on how fair it is for a nine-year-old to get a bullet in the skull. Instead, practise Frank Sinatra impression.

5) Listen as a UN official expresses "deep concern at reports of more than 100 deaths in Thailand in connection with a crackdown on the drug trade".

6) Fire off memo reading: "Do not worry about this. The UN is not my father."

7) Declare "victory" on war on drugs. Ignore the 2,275 people that have been killed in said war. Ruminate on fact that since the start of the campaign homicide rate in Thailand has doubled. Practise Frank Sinatra impression.

8) Read US state department report that Thailand's human rights record has "worsened with regard to extrajudicial killings and arbitrary arrests". Practise Frank Sinatra impression.

9) Dismiss the United States an "annoying friend". Pesky Americans!

10) Decide to restore battered international standing by identifying sleeping giant.

11) Check sleeping giant isn't a drug dealer.

12) Pass Premier League's fit and proper person's test with flying colours despite Amnesty International saying that "Thaksin did preside over some very serious human rights violations".

13) Watch as Human Rights FC do the double over Manchester United. Try to ignore ghost of nine-year-old child whispering in your ear by humming upbeat version of Blue Moon.

14) Make moves to sack perfectly good manager despite the fact that his players, the fans, Bob Carolgees and 99.789% of the population of the universe thinks he is doing a good job.

15) Smile in satisfaction as it looks like your team will be given a place in next season's Euro Vase for, get this, FAIR PLAY!!!!!!!!!

16) Relax in warm bath of chutzpah and irony whistling My Way.

*Fair Play may involve extra-judicial killings and knee-jerk sackings of competent, if unspectacular, managers.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iokRKvnTV9Q

fair play indeed :rolleyes:

Who was it that kncoked them out last time? so obscure i can't even remember.

TNS revenge i reckon this time.

They've officially been given the place today ahead of Fulham.

So they finish 6th in the Fair play league and go straight into the Uefa cup proper, we finish 6th in the Premier League and have to win the Intertoto before we even get into the Uefa cup. What a joke

We go into the UEFA Cup qualifying rounds, not proper. Agree that it's all a bit daft this Fair Play nonsense, but we're not going to turn it down.

That's twice we've qualified now through this route in recent years, and both times there have been quite a number of teams ahead of us in the Fair Play League and it's just our good fortune that all those teams had already qualified for Europe. Sheer fluke.

If it's any consolation, we'll probably go out early doors to a team of Polish army deserters.

Yes but i'd rather go into the Uefa cup qualifying rounds straight away than the Intertoto. All i'm saying is surely it would be fairer for the team who qualifies through the fair play league to go into the Intertoto and the team who qualifies through the league goes into the qualifying rounds. Who deserves it more, a team that finishes 6th in the fair play league or a team that finishes 6th in the Premier League?

Yeah we'll probably lose in the Intertoto to a bunch of Milkmen, Postmen etc.

The UEFA Cup is a joke and the people running the game dont seem to realise that because it has an all over the place qualifying format, and is even more messed up when it gets going. They made it simple to follow and no CL drop outs then it will get some respect, but until then its just a bit of fun for fans going of anywhere and in some way a l earning curve for the CL.

UEFA sort out this mickey mouse cup

PS. the news said all of City's squard are up for sale. Dont know how true that is, but foreign owners in our game are a joke.

Shinawatra is quoted as strongly denying this on City's official site, and threatening legal action against the papers who've reported this.

But tbh, if it were true, nothing surprises me anymore.

Are City fans really starting to turn on him? What do you think about your future?

Could write an essay on this but:

Shinawatra is still very much an unknown quantity in terms of football.

Initial suspicions were diluted after a great start to the season, but performances on the pitch have generally been poor since before Christmas. Fans generally sticking by Sven (after all, he's achieved the top ten finish that the Chairman asked for at the start of the season) but there's been growing concern amongst fans about our recent form and now there are increased mutterings about whether Shinawatra might know something we don't and might after all be correct in looking to ditch Sven (allegedly, as Shinawatra still hasn't said anything himself yet, other than the quote weeks ago about looking to "review" things at the end of the season). Reports are that Sven will be sacked after we finish our tour of Thailand, which will be very harsh, and it remains to be seen who would replace him. Sven didn't help his case on the last day of the season :rolleyes:

General consensus is that if Sven goes at least we have a decent base to build on, but nobody knows how long Shinawatra will stick around for – if he's true to his word, it may be some time – but City is also a way of keeping his political ambitions in the limelight back home. He is after all a politician and a businessman.

Has he spent any of his own money yet?

Dodgyiest of all the dodgy owners at the momnet - and no thats not because he owns city.

Don't think anyone (including City fans) would disagree that Villa are more deserving of a place in Europe. However, if City hadn't got the extra place, it wouldn't have gone to 6th place in the league...it would have gone to the next 'fairest' country (Norway I think). It isn't an extra spot for English football - it's a single spot for a team whose country tops the fair play table.

It would be a lot more credible if rather than giving it to the 5th fairest team in England, they gave it to the 1st fairest team in Norway. But as if UEFA have any credibility!

Nick - you're absolutely right about the UEFA cup. Letting champions league also-rans in is a joke.

Stole our place in the cup :(

Perhaps for the best, it wouldnt have helped us in the league atall.

To win the Intertoto cup you have to be the team that lasts the longest in the UEFA cup out of all the teams that made it there via the Intertoto.

We've won it one time :ph43r:

And it takes pride of place in the Newcastle trophy room :lol:

:lol: I was gonna say i bet they had an open top bus ride round the City after winning it

That's what the trophy looks like lads B)